glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
