i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
