your parents love me but you hate me
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
its not stalking. its research.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
