Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I've blown a few things in my day
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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