Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Holy shit dude........stairs
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
