Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize