No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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