I just saw a hot homeless man
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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