just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
