woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize