I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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