Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize