Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
