If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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