I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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