Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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