I must be too annoying 4 u.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
a search helicopter?!
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
