I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
These tits shall not be calmed
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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