I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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