laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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