I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The uberlube is also flammable
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
