Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
