Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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