i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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