Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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