Can Purell be used as lube?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
