My balls are so social today.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
