I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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