is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
