covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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