Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
tell me about the fingering
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