Do vagina's smell?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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