K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
