I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
