My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
