You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
