Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
