whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
