i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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