They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Is it because I queefed?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize