You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize