found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize