She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
