i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
