Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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