When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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