Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
