awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
well you can't waste a boner
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
