the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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