You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
