Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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