How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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