Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize