I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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