You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
