Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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