I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
