i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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