I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
