Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
