how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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